Posts Tagged ‘respect’

AGAPE NUGGETS

If you say that you love a person and you do not always speak home truths to him or her, your love is fake. Such love is based on fear, falsehood,  discouragement, selfishness, wickedness, or any other form of evil. What if the other person rejects or rebuffs your good intentions? Then you are not liable, but your  association or relationship is on shaky grounds. Such relationship would not last, except there is change of attitude and repentance.
If you are married, please go all out to love and cherish your relationship with your spouse. Do not take him or her for granted. Commit your ways unto the LORD. Trust and obey his words. Respect each other. Communicate freely and openly with each other every day. Do things together- praying, eating, walking, listening, leisure, sleeping, resting, holidaying and sexual intimacy. Planning comes without saying, for these to be achievable. When the children start to come never allow your relationship to become sidelined!
If you are single, never enter into any relationship which would not improve your life morally, spiritually with God, your life skills and ensure continuity of the basic needs of life. Your peace of mind, body and soul are of vital importance. Evil companionship corrupts good manners.
Bear in mind the fact that you cannot improve yourself by resisting the good counsel and supportive efforts of your true friends. One of such friends may desire to spend the rest of his or her life with you as your spouse in the near future! If you spoil your chances you may regret later. Therefore, be steadfast, diligent and watchful. Be prayerful and focused in life also. Keep your body pure and chaste. Pre-marital sex does no good to marital foundation and happiness. Your life needs to be cleansed of such impurity and sin in order to build a solid foundation for Christian Marriage.  Never toy with counselling from trusted Christian persons and your pastor.
Dear friend, let me humbly tell you an important home truth. If you have not given your life to Jesus Christ, you are lost and you probably do not realise this fact yet.
You can rectify this situation before it is too late!
If you confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is your Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Jesus from the dead, you shall be saved.
Sincerely call upon Jesus now. Invite him into your life. Jesus Christ would honour your invitation and come in to change your life for the better. Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord Jesus Christ shall be saved. Romans 10: 9-13. Please do so quickly anywhere you may be now. Quietly from your heart; or in your room; in the bathroom or even in the toilet! In the plane travelling or on the motorcycle; you can surrender your life to Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ came into this world to save sinners. That includes me and you. Nobody is exempted. For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16. Please let us know that you have made the decision to follow Jesus Christ. We shall be glad to support you in your walk with Jesus. We send you useful materials of faith in Jesus. We would also link you with the Church nearest to you for good fellowship.
God bless you.

Relationship With In-Laws

By in-laws we mean the parents, siblings, and both close as well as distant family members of your spouse. In most parts of the Western world, especially in the United Kingdom, the extended family members are excluded. This is not so in Nigeria and many parts of Africa. What should be the relationship between a man, his wife and their in-laws? It should be cordial. However, the experiences of many people built from first-hand interactions, plus verbal and written reports of others, have proved that some relationships could be far from being cordial. As Christians we are to seek peace and pursue peace(Psalms 34:14). That means we should do everything within our God-given abilities to be at peace within ourselves individually and between ourselves and other persons. In the Epistle to the Hebrews it is written: Follow peace with everyone and holiness without which no person would see the Lord(Hebrews 12:14).

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife(united with her and cleave together)and become one flesh[Genesis 2:24]. – And the woman too. There is nowhere in the Bible where permission is given to the woman to remain with her father and mother after getting married. Does that imply a break up with one’s parents and siblings or cousins? Not at all. It is the drawing up of boundaries and the recognition of such boundaries by all the parties involved. It is the giving of respect and honour to the rights and independence of the new couple as another unit created by God for companionship, for pure and holy mutual sexual pleasure and fulfillment; and for procreation and the raising up of disciplined children.

We see the examples of Moses relating well with his father-in-law. Jethro counselled Moses in administration when he was over working himself. Thus he was able to delegate part of his duties and work more efficiently. Jethro earlier on brought Moses’ wife Zipporah and their two sons whom Moses had left behind when he went to meet Pharaoh. The relationship between Ruth and her mother-in-law, Naomi, was very cordial. If Naomi had been nosy and critical or unfriendly, that responsible, loving and highly respected daughter-in-law of hers would never have opted to leave her homeland of Moab for Israel; more so after their bereavements. She chose to remain with her mother-in-law after her father-in-law and later her own husband have died. She was a strong and faithful supporter and source of comfort. She got rewarded with a loving husband in the end. In fact both King David and our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ were in her lineage!
Examples also abound in this generation. There is the example of initial misunderstandings between the writer’s mother and his wife. These were later resolved to the extent that the two women became friends and confidants till the old woman died. During the period of misunderstanding, the writer stood his ground and protected his wife without being disrespectful to his mother. We have seen other examples where the husband or the wife chose to be rude to elders, whilst protecting their spouses. That is not proper.

Writing under the topic ‘The Expected’ and ‘The Unexpected’ in our marriage journey; and making references to parents-in-law, Drs. Thomas and Agnes Odejide wrote in their book

40 YEARS AFTER I SAID

I do

, published by Jesus Joy Publishing, 2011; pages 33-34

:

-my father died in 1990 at the age of 75. We did not regard his ‘home call’ as a tragedy even though we would have wished he had lived longer. It was expected that we would survive him so we celebrated his life during the burial ceremony. My mother followed about a decade later in 2000; she was 80 years old. My mother-in-law followed in 2001; she was over 80 years old. My father-in-law was the last to pass on in 2005 at the age of over a hundred years! We felt happy at the ‘home callings’ of our parents at very ripe ages We were particularly happy that God gave us the opportunity to take care of them. Although none of them lived with us permanently, we were not far from them and our home was always open to them. To God be the glory.

That is another example of honouring our in-laws as well as keeping necessary boundaries.
We cannot afford to lose our focus. God and posterity depend on us. The marriage institution must not be toyed with. Therefore those whom God has joined together, let no man; let no woman, let no legal, social, cultural or governmental policy or establishment toy with nor put asunder! Amen.