No man or woman should enter into marriage deceitfully; otherwise such marriages are not true marriages! A life time relationship should not be taken carelessly. God watches over all of us and He cannot be deceived. Each person shall give account to God. Marriage should not be handled loosely as to allow it to make us guilty before God. Where guilt exists, there must be repentance for healing and refreshing to take place. Neither POLYGAMY nor POLYANDRY is good or right. Marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled, but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge[Hebrews 13:4]. God does heal marriages today. He heals broken minds and hearts. He is the Restorer and Healer.
1. When God established marriage, He meant it for life time, till physical death parts the couple. Let God be true and all others liars. [Genesis 2:23-25; Romans 7:1-3; Malachi 2:14-16; Mark 10:2-12;]. What God has joined together, let not man put asunder[Let NO man/ woman/ family/ culture/ religion/ parliament/ legislature/ government/ law court put asunder.].
2. Can God heal sick, corrupted marriages? YES! If human beings would allow God by inviting Him in and patiently waiting for Him to do His miraculous operation. No case is too advanced for healing or beyond healing. Humility and true repentance can lead to wonderful, positive results. Examples do abound today of what God is doing. Divorce is not a remedy. Remember the example of the woman of Sychar in Samaria, who met Jesus at the well. That lady had five previous husbands and the sixth man she was having relationship with then was not her husband! [John 4:6-42]. If divorces gave any solution that woman should not have had up to six men in her life before she had miraculous encounter with Jesus. We were not told what happened to the lady afterwards, but if she ever married again I would expect that to have been a stable marriage because her life had been renewed and her focus brightened.
3. When God is at the centre of a marriage, problems are easily overcome. God never promised us that we would not have challenges or problems, but He assures us in every area of our lives that we would overcome problems. No one should build castles out of problems and make use of such castles as excuses for initiating divorce! Bring all your anxieties; all your worries; all your hurts; all your experiences of rejection; all the verbal and psychological abuses; all your broken hearts; all your own failures towards your spouses too; bring them all to JESUS! Jesus turns all sorrows into joy. Jesus will lift off the problems that weigh you down. Call upon Him without delay and wait for His miraculous operation! He truly cares [Matthew 11:28-30].
4. Do you seek forgiveness from God? Do you quickly forgive others when they offend you, even after their apologies? [Matthew 6:12; 7:12;]. Where in the Bible is it written that the sin of adultery cannot be forgiven? Many have used adultery as the basis for divorcing their spouses. God did not say that adultery should not be forgiven. When God said He hates divorce, it is implied that there is a remedy. Remedy for divorce is to stay faithful. Remedy for divorce is to stay vigilant and be our spouses keepers[not as spies, but as loving carers and watchers]. Remedy for divorce is to make yourself more pleasing and attractive to your spouse now that the ring is on your fingers and you have each other! Remedy for divorce is to submit to one another. On sexual intimacy each person should remember that his or her spouse should never be refused sex, except in rare cases of giving oneself to prayer and fasting. I would add also that by mutual consent it should be assessed that physical weakness as in tiredness arising from work or long travel could be a temporary excuse. The cure for that should be adequate rest. Shortly after child birth sexual intimacy may be postponed till the woman regains strength. No room should be given to temptation from Satan as a result of negligence on sexual intimacy. Brother Paul rightly states this in his epistle[1 Corinthians 7:3-6]. The stubborness or hardness of people’s hearts was the reason in Moses days why divorce was permitted, when adultery was reported. God never condoned adultery. The Israelites were very frequent with their spiritual adultery through abominable relationships and idolatrous practices. They were punished for such dirty practices, but when they cried out for mercy and repented, God forgave them many times and He restored them back into clean, fresh renewed relationship. God also restored their fortunes. Who can be likened to the LORD, the Almighty God, Who forgives sins and iniquities? Who are you to refuse forgiveness to your spouse? Are you wiser or more righteous or holier than God?
Remedy for divorce is to uphold your family altar of worship, reading of the Bible, meditation, prayer and thanksgiving everyday. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. [Psalms 119; Psalms 107: Micah 7:18-20; Colossians 3:16-17].
The only unforgivable sin is to reject Jesus Christ. Another remedy for divorce is humility before each other. TALK together in turns and LISTEN to each other. The seniority of the man as husband and father makes him the biggest servant at home and not the task master! The humility of your husband should never be taken for granted. Accord to him the honour due to him as the head who is as Christ to you. As a mark of humility it is not too difficult to say and mean sorry when wrong or when you offend each other. Because you are married, work out your marriage with love. It takes the two to work out their marriage successfully. GOD is ever faithful, His Word is true and cannot be undermined. In marriage God wants each couple to win. True love honours, trusts, serves, obeys, endures, gives and forgives. [1 Corinthians 13: 4-7]. As a Christian couple God expects you to make your marriage honourable and successful. Grace be with you.
Posts Tagged ‘not put asunder’
12 May
Relationship With In-Laws
By in-laws we mean the parents, siblings, and both close as well as distant family members of your spouse. In most parts of the Western world, especially in the United Kingdom, the extended family members are excluded. This is not so in Nigeria and many parts of Africa. What should be the relationship between a man, his wife and their in-laws? It should be cordial. However, the experiences of many people built from first-hand interactions, plus verbal and written reports of others, have proved that some relationships could be far from being cordial. As Christians we are to seek peace and pursue peace(Psalms 34:14). That means we should do everything within our God-given abilities to be at peace within ourselves individually and between ourselves and other persons. In the Epistle to the Hebrews it is written: Follow peace with everyone and holiness without which no person would see the Lord(Hebrews 12:14).
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife(united with her and cleave together)and become one flesh[Genesis 2:24]. – And the woman too. There is nowhere in the Bible where permission is given to the woman to remain with her father and mother after getting married. Does that imply a break up with one’s parents and siblings or cousins? Not at all. It is the drawing up of boundaries and the recognition of such boundaries by all the parties involved. It is the giving of respect and honour to the rights and independence of the new couple as another unit created by God for companionship, for pure and holy mutual sexual pleasure and fulfillment; and for procreation and the raising up of disciplined children.
We see the examples of Moses relating well with his father-in-law. Jethro counselled Moses in administration when he was over working himself. Thus he was able to delegate part of his duties and work more efficiently. Jethro earlier on brought Moses’ wife Zipporah and their two sons whom Moses had left behind when he went to meet Pharaoh. The relationship between Ruth and her mother-in-law, Naomi, was very cordial. If Naomi had been nosy and critical or unfriendly, that responsible, loving and highly respected daughter-in-law of hers would never have opted to leave her homeland of Moab for Israel; more so after their bereavements. She chose to remain with her mother-in-law after her father-in-law and later her own husband have died. She was a strong and faithful supporter and source of comfort. She got rewarded with a loving husband in the end. In fact both King David and our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ were in her lineage!
Examples also abound in this generation. There is the example of initial misunderstandings between the writer’s mother and his wife. These were later resolved to the extent that the two women became friends and confidants till the old woman died. During the period of misunderstanding, the writer stood his ground and protected his wife without being disrespectful to his mother. We have seen other examples where the husband or the wife chose to be rude to elders, whilst protecting their spouses. That is not proper.
Writing under the topic ‘The Expected’ and ‘The Unexpected’ in our marriage journey; and making references to parents-in-law, Drs. Thomas and Agnes Odejide wrote in their book
40 YEARS AFTER I SAID
I do
, published by Jesus Joy Publishing, 2011; pages 33-34
:
-my father died in 1990 at the age of 75. We did not regard his ‘home call’ as a tragedy even though we would have wished he had lived longer. It was expected that we would survive him so we celebrated his life during the burial ceremony. My mother followed about a decade later in 2000; she was 80 years old. My mother-in-law followed in 2001; she was over 80 years old. My father-in-law was the last to pass on in 2005 at the age of over a hundred years! We felt happy at the ‘home callings’ of our parents at very ripe ages We were particularly happy that God gave us the opportunity to take care of them. Although none of them lived with us permanently, we were not far from them and our home was always open to them. To God be the glory.
That is another example of honouring our in-laws as well as keeping necessary boundaries.
We cannot afford to lose our focus. God and posterity depend on us. The marriage institution must not be toyed with. Therefore those whom God has joined together, let no man; let no woman, let no legal, social, cultural or governmental policy or establishment toy with nor put asunder! Amen.
AgapeFocus 
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