Archive for the ‘On Relationship’ Category

Whom Are You Living To Please?

It is very easy to please men and women by doing or saying what they want. When you do so, you receive human approval. Basically there is nothing wrong with pleasing human beings provided that you please God first by doing so. In everything we do, we should put God first. It is good to please your spouse in all essential aspects of life, doing the will of God in the process. However, if pleasing a person makes you to violate your conscience and sin against God,  then refrain from doing so. Let each person search his or her conscience in line with the word of God, doing what is right and of good report.
The Social media is a good forum to interact with families, friends and acquaintances. Do we like or comment on posts because they come from our friends or because of their importance and relevance? Must you like a  post only to feel bad later? Must you write another post because X or Y has reacted to it? 
For the Christian, Heaven bound, we should provide for things that are honest and of good report both in the sight of God and man.
Jokes and humour can be good and healthy, but not at the expense of morality, good conscience and edification.
My father in the Lord, Very Rev Dr Mike Oye once taught us this song among very much of sound doctrine, in the very early years:
There are things non-Christians may, I cannot;
LORD make them plain.
There are things all people can, I may not;
Christ help me through;
Yet there are things non-Christians can’t do;
Only I can do;
That is praying, living daily for Christ;
That only I can do.
————–o————-
In our daily living for Christ may we be found true, faithful, diligent, loving, compassionate, considerate, bold and firm. The LORD Who called us is faithful to keep us to the end. He is our Rewarder. Abundant Grace be with you. Shalom.

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Forgiveness in Marriage

In ordinary human relationships, the issue of forgiveness is very vital for continuity. It is human to make mistakes, but that is no excuse for repetition of the same mistakes. If a person takes his or her relationship seriously, he would not indulge in causing sorrows to the other person at the expense of the continuity or stability of the relationship. In marriage, forgiveness occupies an important place. A husband and his wife interact every moment daily, throughout their life time. It is inevitable for offences to occur. However, when offences do occur, it should be handled patiently,in love and give the other person, room for correction, apologies, and improvement. Nobody should be judgemental or condemning. It is good to consider yourself, assuming you are the offender or one who made a mistake. Where there is understanding, no offence or wrong is too big to be forgiven. The peak of offence may be taken as infidelity. That, as big and horrible as it sounds and feels can yet be forgiven. Any offence that could be forgiven by God should be forgiveable by human beings.It is written: Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you[Ephesians 4:32]. Bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. And beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful[Colossians 3:13-15]. The marriage relationship does not thrive or succeed with a ‘TIT FOR TAT’ or retaliatory attitude. We should not render evil for evil or insult for insult. Rather, we should live good and peaceful lives that are harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kind and humble, blessing each other verbally and in actions[1 Peter 3:8-9]. This may not be very easy, but God gives the grace to each person to make us able. God never asks us to do what is impossible! With God, all things are possible.

Relationship With In-Laws

By in-laws we mean the parents, siblings, and both close as well as distant family members of your spouse. In most parts of the Western world, especially in the United Kingdom, the extended family members are excluded. This is not so in Nigeria and many parts of Africa. What should be the relationship between a man, his wife and their in-laws? It should be cordial. However, the experiences of many people built from first-hand interactions, plus verbal and written reports of others, have proved that some relationships could be far from being cordial. As Christians we are to seek peace and pursue peace(Psalms 34:14). That means we should do everything within our God-given abilities to be at peace within ourselves individually and between ourselves and other persons. In the Epistle to the Hebrews it is written: Follow peace with everyone and holiness without which no person would see the Lord(Hebrews 12:14).

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife(united with her and cleave together)and become one flesh[Genesis 2:24]. – And the woman too. There is nowhere in the Bible where permission is given to the woman to remain with her father and mother after getting married. Does that imply a break up with one’s parents and siblings or cousins? Not at all. It is the drawing up of boundaries and the recognition of such boundaries by all the parties involved. It is the giving of respect and honour to the rights and independence of the new couple as another unit created by God for companionship, for pure and holy mutual sexual pleasure and fulfillment; and for procreation and the raising up of disciplined children.

We see the examples of Moses relating well with his father-in-law. Jethro counselled Moses in administration when he was over working himself. Thus he was able to delegate part of his duties and work more efficiently. Jethro earlier on brought Moses’ wife Zipporah and their two sons whom Moses had left behind when he went to meet Pharaoh. The relationship between Ruth and her mother-in-law, Naomi, was very cordial. If Naomi had been nosy and critical or unfriendly, that responsible, loving and highly respected daughter-in-law of hers would never have opted to leave her homeland of Moab for Israel; more so after their bereavements. She chose to remain with her mother-in-law after her father-in-law and later her own husband have died. She was a strong and faithful supporter and source of comfort. She got rewarded with a loving husband in the end. In fact both King David and our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ were in her lineage!
Examples also abound in this generation. There is the example of initial misunderstandings between the writer’s mother and his wife. These were later resolved to the extent that the two women became friends and confidants till the old woman died. During the period of misunderstanding, the writer stood his ground and protected his wife without being disrespectful to his mother. We have seen other examples where the husband or the wife chose to be rude to elders, whilst protecting their spouses. That is not proper.

Writing under the topic ‘The Expected’ and ‘The Unexpected’ in our marriage journey; and making references to parents-in-law, Drs. Thomas and Agnes Odejide wrote in their book

40 YEARS AFTER I SAID

I do

, published by Jesus Joy Publishing, 2011; pages 33-34

:

-my father died in 1990 at the age of 75. We did not regard his ‘home call’ as a tragedy even though we would have wished he had lived longer. It was expected that we would survive him so we celebrated his life during the burial ceremony. My mother followed about a decade later in 2000; she was 80 years old. My mother-in-law followed in 2001; she was over 80 years old. My father-in-law was the last to pass on in 2005 at the age of over a hundred years! We felt happy at the ‘home callings’ of our parents at very ripe ages We were particularly happy that God gave us the opportunity to take care of them. Although none of them lived with us permanently, we were not far from them and our home was always open to them. To God be the glory.

That is another example of honouring our in-laws as well as keeping necessary boundaries.
We cannot afford to lose our focus. God and posterity depend on us. The marriage institution must not be toyed with. Therefore those whom God has joined together, let no man; let no woman, let no legal, social, cultural or governmental policy or establishment toy with nor put asunder! Amen.

Having Found Your Intended Spouse, Get Married

In Daniel Defoe’s Book Robinson Crusoe we read

—Without telling my father,—-without thinking what the end of it would be; I went on board the ship.

Of course, we all know that trip ended in a ship-wreck! May your marriage never end in a ship-wreck in the mighty name of Jesus Christ. You need deep prayerful thought and divine guidance. You should marry a person who likes you, has interest in your well-being and success, speaks the truth into your life and cares for you. You should marry a person whom you feel confident in his or her presence and desire to see very often; not for selfish carnal, sinful purposes, but for life achievement and fulfillment. You have been out visiting or going out on dates with your friend. You have found a spiritual and emotional link between you two. Your lives are complementary. That is, he or she has few of the virtues or qualities which you lack and which help to make you feel total or complete. Both of you have been open, honest and sincere with each other. There are no hidden agendas between you both. Then you are on the road to a deeper promising relationship which could lead to marriage. But that is not yet sufficient. You have sought counsel from your pastor or from a matured Christian. You have become very familiar with what the Bible teaches on marriage. You have been prayerful not just because of marriage alone, but all along your Christian life. Let us consider the following also. Some of these have been touched upon before, but there is need to emphasize.
Chastity: All along, both of you should keep pure. There is no room for the crazy worldly fashion of impurity or lack of chastity, called fornication. This helps to keep the relationship pure and strong. More importantly, you would honour God and bring glory to his name. Your body is the temple of God where his Holy Spirit lives, therefore discipline yourselves by bringing yourselves under His control (Colossians3:5-7). There is no pride in going to bed before you become husband and wife. True love is patient, kind and not selfish (1Corinthians 13:4-7). Anyone who cannot wait for you, is not worthy of you. Let him or her go away for good! A tweet by Bishop David Oyedepo states: <a href="

” title=”Talk matters through; no room for laxity and impurity”>
You have prayerfully found a man or woman whom you consider suitable for you? This is the final stage when you have to be sure that you are in the right relationship. Countless numbers of questions need to be raised and answered. These are real life practical issues. Is your intended a born again Christian just as you are? Does he or she belong to a good fellowship or church? How does he react in an emergency? Does he care about you? Is she a good material for a housewife and mother? Would he make a good husband and father? Does he have a good job? Is he patient and kind? Do you naturally give compliments to each other? Are you complementary? Your intended is expected to have qualities which make up for those lacking in your own life. That is necessary for you to make a good couple. How liberal or generous is he? Is he stingy, or does he buy you token gifts? Does he or she know enough about house chores? Can he or she cook? Is he or she prayerful? Does he or she have a good knowledge of the Bible on marriage? Are you really in love or merely being drawn by infatuation? Is he easily angry? Does he or she easily forgive; or does he or she often recall past wrongs? Is he or she trustworthy? How good is he or she with handling money? How ambitious is your intended future life partner? Here is a tweet by Nicky Gumbel: <a href="

” title=”Know Your True Friend”>
Are you genetically compatible? A man with the genotype AS should not marry a lady with the same or weaker genotype; say AS or SS. They would likely have more of children who are susceptible to the sickle-cell anaemia disease, which often kills the victim or makes life loathsome and dreadful! Please seek medical experts for counsel. If you two are not compatible, then it is better to end the relationship! You are responsible for your relationship as well as the lives of children likely to be born through that relationship. Disobedience in this regard could be traumatic and grievous. Share all about each other. You should also tell each other about your past lives. Have you been in a relationship before? Why did you end that or any other relationship? Are there any other physical, medical or physiological problems to be faced and tackled before you move further? The list of questions is endless. That is why you should not rush to get married. Both of you should be bold and frank with each other in handling these questions. Please do not gloss them over. Are you a widow or widower seeking to re-marry? Then you should ensure that you marry a Christian in addition to the other points already stated. Mature singles or widows /widowers do not have a different set of guidelines from the younger, fresh ones. May each person ensure that the name of the LORD is glorified.
Here is another tweet from Abbatwit: <a href="http://

” title=”Why Do You Enter Into A Relationship?”>
Prayers for guidance from God
This is not a quick fix. It is not a formula as in solving a mathematical problem. You should already be in close relationship with God before you approach him for guidance on marriage. He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow and forever. He knows all things. He knows what is best for your life. Let God be your guidance today and your tomorrow would be easier to enter and enjoy. Your relationship is God’s concern, God’s pleasure and for God’s glory. You cannot afford to be careless, impatient or deceived by any man or lady. God will make a way for you. You are responsible for your choice, but God would guide you if you have learnt to commit every area of your life to him.
Counsel from your Pastors, Christian Marriage Counsellors, Matured Married Christian Couples and Parents:
You need good counsel all along and as you take the final decision. In the multitude of counsellors problems are solved and much sorrow is avoided. Safety is thus assured (Proverbs 11:14). You cannot buy experience at the super market, except buying books and tapes of those who have the mind of Christ and quite a lot to share. You acquire knowledge and understanding through the Bible, through matured Christian counselling in Christian circles. You acquire wisdom, understanding and direction through constant prayerful fellowship with the Lord. God speaks to you through the Bible and during prayers. This is a two-way communication. You talk to God and He replies and vice versa. God promises to instruct us and guide us. Psalms 32:8. Consent and Approval: Genesis 24: 57 – 58; Genesis 28:1-2. Abraham sought a wife for his son Isaac from a well-known good source. He sent his trusted servant on the important assignment. After the parents and family of the lady were convinced, they knew it was important to seek the lady’s opinion. And they said, we will call the damsel, and inquire at her mouth. And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said I will go. Parental counsel, approval and consent plus the Lady’s consent should be respected and sought. Imposition is not the perfect will of God. God had used contacts through others to reveal a person’s future partner. That is not often the case. The approval of God is the greatest. Has the Lord led you in finding your future partner? Your joy and peace would be great if you really sought his guidance. If or when problems arise in the future, you would remember that you were not careless or ungodly in making your choice. That would give you added impetus to victory over any problem.
Wedding and Married Life: Getting married in the presence of fellow Christians in the church is the best option. Your marriage is also binding and legal when celebrated in a Marriage Registry before the Registrar. The legal or statutory requirements for marriage in some countries have it such that the Church building is licensed to conduct marriages. A certificate of authorization is issued from the Registry to the Church if there is no opposition to the marriage. Within a set period,say 15days notice of your intention is given to the public in order to ensure there are no oppositions to your intentions. This period is variable in different places. After the authorization, the wedding ceremony is to be solemnized within a certain period, variable in different places. The ceremony holds in the presence of witnesses. A Marriage Certificate is issued, indicating the names of the spouses, their ages, current addresses and occupations. The names of the Registrar and witnesses are also included. All such names included sign the Certificate, issued in copies, one of which is given to the wife and the other sent to the Registry. Variable sums of money are payable as Fees for notification, for the ceremony and for the certificates issued. You would check the fees when you visit your local Marriage Registry. Fees are also payable in the Church or the Registry for the Wedding Ceremony.
Importance Of The Marriage Ceremony: The choice words used carry a lot of heavy responsibility and commitment. You affirm that you do not know of any impediment why both of you may not be joined as husband and wife. By that you mean that you are stating the truth. Heaven and Earth are called upon as witnesses. The expression

AS BOTH OF YOU SHALL DECLARE ON THE DREADFUL DAY OF JUDGMENT

means that you are both accountable to God for everything you do with your marriage.

Saying I WILL and later saying I DO to the questions raised by the Registrar(the Church minister or any one so appointed) places a life-time responsibility upon both of you, as husband and wife, in the presence of God and the witnesses. God holds both of you accountable before him. Your Marriage is very important. It is for Lifetime Companionship, for Sexual Fulfillment, for Procreation and raising of good children in a decent Family under the umbrella of Jesus Christ.
In our next post, we shall consider the Marriage Ceremony and Realities of Married life. God bless you.

When Two Elephants Fight, The Grass Suffers

Elders world wide often say that ‘When two elephants fight, the grass suffers’. The saying is often quoted when two heavy weights in a relationship are engaged in a quarrel, conflict or fight. The relationship may be pre-marital, marital, business, political, local, national, international, or in any other vital field of human activity. The dependents, dependants or those in close proximity to the two chief antagonists usually bear the brunt of the blows from the fight. When nations wage war against each other or when there are civil wars, it is the innocent children, women, the weak, sick or handicapped ones who suffer most. In the context of conflicts or quarrel in the family setting or home, it is the children who suffer most. In a family, we think of a man, his wife, who is a woman, and their children. Where they live is the home. In a normal home therefore, the ‘two elephants’ are the man and his wife, as father and mother respectively; while the children represent ‘the grass’. In the other examples referred to above, the dependents, dependants and the weaker ones, all of whom are the more vulnerable ones, represent the grass. Modern society holds the wrong view that a relationship should not be based on children who are the products of the relationship. Why, in the first place did the couple bring forth the child or children? It is simply equal to gross irresponsibility, selfishness and cruelty not to consider the children as being the most vulnerable and therefore the ones to give the most consideration! No committed Christian should go all out for divorce. Misunderstandings are inevitable in any human relationship. When misunderstandings arise, the persons involved should endeavour to resolve them. In the family, greater responsibility rests upon the shoulders of the father and mother. The family is an essential structural as well as functional living unit of any community or nation. God set up the family unit as such. Any community or nation is therefore a product of its functional unit, the family. Any damage done to the family structure is a gradual death-blow to the fabric of stability and health in the community, state, region or nation! Where persons hold the family in high esteem, no effort would be spared at maintaining its stability. The reckless abandonment with which many couples in this generation handle their marriage disputes or misunderstanding spells disaster for many homes. Resorting to divorce is not the solution. Rather, more chaos and problems are created than solved when either parent presses for divorce. Handling marriage as a trial by error affair, as a business contract or as a ‘cat and mouse affair’ would certainly lead to failure and divorce. Looking for the least form of excuses to press for divorce is not a Christian lifestyle. Consequently, the children from such homes have their lives virtually truncated and left in disarray. Many of such children grow up to become confused, angry, rebellious and retaliatory. It is much better to bring up children in a home with both father and mother positively and actively involved. No father can successfully combine the mother’s role with his. The same is true of any mother. No mother can successfully replace the father. God has given each person in the home his or her own special responsibility. The father, mother and the children make up the family which lives in the home. Teaching and supervising house chores helps parents to lay the foundation for good work habits for the future. It is easier to play than to work, but it is rather more uplifting and confidence-boosting as well as character-building in the child. Setting standards as well as boundaries in behaviour also helps in children upbringing. The father is the chief disciplinarian. The mother upholds discipline under the umbrella of the father. In the father’s absence, she is in charge. Both parents uphold discipline together, but the hierarchy of the two parents should never be in question. Words are very important in giving instructions. Clear, simple direct instructions should be given. No negative, degrading or abusive words should be used at any time. Chores should be practically taught by showing example or demonstrating it to the child. Parents should never wait on the school to teach their children chores. Schools should buttress what parents have already taught as appropriate with the child’s age. Violations of these set boundaries and standards should be frowned at and sanctions given. Good performance should also be rewarded. Firm stands should be maintained. Children are wise to detect any loophole on discipline and would like to take advantage of it. It is the responsibility of parents to eliminate such loopholes. Being in agreement in words as well as in actions is one of the sure ways to plug or avoid loopholes. The Bible states:

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6)

The training must be given first, from which the child would not depart later on in life. No training; no knowledge and no discipline. It is a pity that some ladies and young men who never learnt how to cook whilst growing up have to rely on cookery books for almost all their cooking. The problem is from the home background. They probably had things too much their own ways at home or the parents indulged them with the services of paid chefs and other paid domestic servants! It is not too late to learn from friends or enrol for short-term courses. Please do not be shy or ashamed to learn. It is also written:

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him (Proverbs 22:15).

Correction is best applied when it matters most and not when it is too late. Before a child starts school a good foundation should have been laid. Postponing training and discipline or ignoring them altogether breeds conflict, rebellion and sorrow later on. Every time the family comes together, some teaching and learning takes place. The family that prays, eats, worships and plays together, cherish each other and therefore stays together. The opposite is also true. The family that neglects praying, eating, talking, worshiping and playing together seldom stays together. Some families do not have time for cooked meals because they claim to be too busy. Some are too busy, making money to such extent that they seldom see each other except during Christmas or in an emergency.
To abandon the role of the two parents to only one is not only irresponsible, it is wicked and criminal. Examples abound of human failings by mothers or fathers. More often than not, the abandoned or partially neglected children have a permanent vacuum in their lives. Only God, by his mercy can fill that vacuum when each vulnerable person in the marred relationship opens the door for Him to interact. Various communities in different parts of the world suffer from the effects of strained or broken down relationships in the family. A corrupted form of the family has become the vogue in many parts of the so-called civilized world! There can be no satisfactory substitute for the real family. The original family setting consists of the man as husband and father; the woman as wife and mother and children as important products of the loving, cherished relationship called marriage, which binds the family together. When each member does his or her role properly, the family would be happy, peaceful and flourishing. In a Christian home, all come under the umbrella of the Almighty God, who is the Maker of Marriage and the Family. In the normal family and in this 21st Century, it is challenging, demanding and difficult to bring up children. It demands great commitment and selfless giving, especially from the father and on in the descending order of mother down to the children. How much more difficult would it be for only one parent to try bringing up children. In some quarters, people think it is their position, riches or affluence that would place them in good standing to be good parents. Money, gifts, holidays and status cannot replace good parenting which demands selfless love, positive and protective discipline, with boundaries, rewards and sanctions. A lone-ranger parenting could be likened to a motor car with two good alternate tyres. What horrible ride that would provide in a family. Such a ride would not only be uncomfortable, but unsafe. When each member does his or her role properly, the family would be happy, peaceful and flourishing. Are you a Christian? Stop any further action towards divorce now. Humble yourself before God. Seek the face of God. Seek Christian counsel. Do not join hands with Satan to mess up Christian marriage and the Family setting.
The Bible states:

Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourself unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wife be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word[Ephesians 5:21-26].

It is a mutual submission to each other and not a one-way affair. The husband who expects his wife to submit to him, must be exemplary and lead the way in humble submission; not insisting and defiant. He should only insist where the Bible may be violated! Christ washed the feet of his disciples. He also prepared breakfast for them on the beach, even after his resurrection; just before his ascension back to Heaven. The wife should be cautious not to take her husband for granted. A humble, serving, caring and protective husband deserves to be respected and obeyed. He is to be followed, unless he walks contrary to the Bible. A man usually gets the commitment of the kind of wife he loves selflessly, nurtures and cherishes. A woman usually gets the commitment of the type of husband she adores, cherishes, respects and obeys. A selfless, loving, cherishing, diligent and responsible husband would be obeyed. An adoring, caring, virtuous, cherishing and obedient wife would be loved and honoured. The relationship, based on reverence for God and patterned after the love of Christ for the church, would succeed in the face of hardships and challenges of this life and especially this challenging 21st Century. A significant portion of the cases of juvenile delinquents in society is made up of children from broken relationships or from divorced parents. Out of frustration some of such children become confused, disappointed, rebellious, addicted to drugs and violent. Their confidence, security, self-esteem and in deed future have been violated! Many have need rehabilitation.
A significant problem which confronts the family of the 21st Century is the distortions or corruptions in the interpretations given to the family. Those who call evil good and call good evil shall be punished by God. Those who enact anti-God laws are seeking divine punishment also.[Romans 1:18-32, Exodus 23:1-2, Isaiah 10:1-2, Genesis 19:1-26]. The modern day violations of the family setting breed confusion and make healthy child-upbringing very challenging and difficult. Attempts by various governments to redefine marriage are calculated efforts by Satan to destroy family life, which constitutes the essential unit of human society. Such governments and the leadership only think that they are being modern and in line with what some others around the world are doing. Unfortunately however, the so-called vogue is anti-family, anti-procreation, and anti-societal well-being! Such leaders and nations are fighting against God, the Maker of Heaven and Earth. There is arrogant and flagrant disregard to the words, and will of God and his plan for the betterment of humankind. Severe consequences as a result of the disregard are very imminent. The great ancient cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed because of homosexuality, violence and disobedience. Judgment is coming very soon on the arrogant and the disobedient, take it or leave it! This is an urgent warning and call to repentance to all the nations of this world celebrating or condoning homosexuality, especially the political leaders. Majority of the populace in the United Kingdom and the United States of America, taking just two examples, are against homosexuality, but some of the political leaders are bulldozing their own will through, against common sense, against natural order and against the plan of God Almighty.
Whilst concluding this post, the news of the proceedings in the House of Commons was received. It is unfortunate that the House of Commons passed the bill to allow gays to be fully married in the same way as heterosexual couples. This is a significant negative landmark and a notable additional setback for humanity! The odd and horrible likelihood of calling a man wife and the same person also as husband is the peak of human deception. The same thing goes for calling any woman husband and the same woman as wife. It is confusion master piece! Although God has been very merciful in waiting patiently for people and nations to repent over the calamity of homosexuality, his patience must never be taken for granted. Judgment is coming very soon over anyone, group of persons or nations who violate the plan of God. It is not a mark of achievement to follow a multitude or group to do evil. The correct, natural, reasonable and God-given will of the overwhelming majority has been brushed aside in order to please a significantly erring minority, all under the guise of “keeping up with the Joneses”, with the tag of human rights. It is another example of two elephants fighting, with the grass suffering. That was a setback for civilization! Perhaps the next thing for the United Kingdom and other similarly compliant nations is to pass a bill in favour of polygamy! A U-turn back to God and the time-tested Christian statutes of the United Kingdom is necessary and not too late. Agape Focus as one of the voices for God and the well-being of humanity in this generation opposes and condemns the significant error because it opposes God! We do not know the details; only God knows, but God Almighty says he would judge over this action! Signs to follow soon would be like the ANCIENT HANDWRITING ON THE WALL as in the days of Daniel. Watch out. A word is sufficient for the wise. Enough is enough! Who is a God like the Almighty that pardons iniquity? He still forgives sins today. Repent therefore that you may be forgiven. Retrace your steps back to God.

AGAPE NUGGETS 7

The Christian Marriage is likened to the union between Jesus Christ and the Church. The Lord Jesus Christ is the head of the Church which is called his body.As the natural human body cannot exist without the head, so can the church not thrive without Jesus Christ. In like manner,our Lord,Jesus Christ needs and cherishes us all who are his by redemption, through faith in his blood,shed when he stood in our place to rescue us from present and eternal doom. In the Christian marriage, the man,as husband and head;the woman as wife,body and helpmeet,form an inseparable entity! Any man who dishonours or abuses his wife is maltreating his own body. For such a man, there is no wisdom,peace or joy. Such a man is foolish.A true husband must be ready, if need arises, to lay his life down for the wife! Similarly the woman who disrespects or undermines her husband behaves as a headless, silly person! That woman is a walking spectacle or abnormality! A true wife must be humble and submissive(not as a slave),to the husband! In the early church,upholding the sanctity of marriage, any couple who break up their marital vows were treated as outcasts! However,some Twenty-first Century Christians think they are wiser than God,the Maker of marriage!Jesus taught and upheld that from the begining no permission was given for divorce. Moses gave his people instruction to divorce based on the stubborness of their hearts Deuteronomy 24:1-4!It is better not to marry than to take marriage as a Hollywood gamble or a scientific experiment!Divorce is the permissive will of God in case of fornication.In cases of deception on fidelity issues,divorce was permitted,if the person so wronged is legalistic and not gracious! There is no sin beyond pardon, when there is repentance. Otherwise,marriage the highest level of human relationship,becomes second rate;taking it so-so;managing it as you have stubbornly and disobediently made or found it. God is very loving and does not want you to go through hell in your marriage, if you follow his manual,the Bible and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you day by day.A couple that pray together,read and study the Bible together in obedience to God,must find peace,joy,purity ,power and courage to live successfully.Part of walking the road to success involves mutual esteem, selfless giving,unbroken communication,enjoying sex together,taking specific and joint responsibilities,based on your abilities or gifts.Never neglect to take good and healthy care of your bodies;better than you did during courtship days.In addition to these,forgive your spouse and give no room for bitterness.(Ephesians5:21-33; Colossians 3:18-19). Before and when children arrive to make you a family,set and keep boundaries with authority in the home.Everyone should be disciplined. Jointly discipline and train the children together (Proverbs 22:6; Proverbs 13:24; Ephesians 6:1-4;Colossians 3:20-21). Problems would surely face any couple. No couple is free of challenges,but the obedient,loving,respectful and faithful ones would experience victory.