Archive for the ‘HUMOROUS NOTES’ Category

YOUR MEAT AND MEALS : A SERIOUS JOKE ?

What’s Really in our Food?

Recently, the outcry arose over meat sold and eaten. The question in many people’s mind is that Who can vouch in the UK as having not eaten Horse Meat? If you eat MEAT you might as well have eaten anything as follows: (1) Chicken +Beef + Pork = MEAT. (2) Frog Meat+ Horse Meat + Beef= MEAT. (3) Camel Meat + Dog Meat + Horse Meat = MEAT. BUT everyone deserves to know which combination or composition he/she is eating. PERIOD.

BBC Panorama reports that this is not the first time. It happened way back in the Forties.The News was carried under the banner’What’s Really in our Food?’

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THINK AND SMILE

Being a Christian is no reason to go about with frowning faces. You too can smile in the midst of problems or challenges. What did you say the last time you felt like responding to an urgent call? Did I hear you say: “Here I am, LORD; send my sister”? May God have mercy on Christians today. Amen.
Shirley Jackson shared these notes recently on facebook:(These are only extracts)
For those who speed on the highway – a few hymns as well.
45mph……………….. God Will Take Care of You
55mph……………….. Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah
65mph……………….. Nearer My God To Thee
75mph……………….. Nearer Still Nearer
85mph……………….. This World Is Not My Home
95mph……………….. Lord, I’m Coming Home
100mph……………… Precious Memories
HOW FAST DO YOU DRIVE?

YOU CAN STILL SMILE; ANYWAY/ANYHOW

My friend, please try to give room for Smile.It is now common belief and knowledge that a smile or sincere laughter makes a person feel better. A person makes use of 72 muscles to frown; while only 14 muscles are needed to smile.Therefore, we expend more energy in frowning and give ourselves more stress and sorrow whilst frowning. On the other hand, smiling is less cumbersome, less energy-exerting and yet more beneficial to our bodies. A genuine smile,not a pretentious one,promotes good health. CHEER UP;Give your face a good smile.Give your face a good change. Stress vanishes gradually, the immune system is boosted and you feel better. Please,smile awhile and give your face a change. Someone once said: If when you need LEMONADE; you could only get LEMON, try to add ADE to it and you have your much-needed Lemonade! How about that? You can create what you need from what you have. However, we need to strike a good balance and never slip into too much laxity; as too much of laughter could be dangerous too, if it makes us focus less on our God-given duties and responsibilities! SERVING GOD IS NOT A REASON TO FROWN ALL THE WAY! May the Humorous, Almighty God bless you in the name of Jesus. Amen. Apply brakes, as you read what some experts say on Help guide about humour and laughter. AgapeFocus does not agree with all of the contents, but there is some good therein:

VUVUZELA – EXTRA!

During the last FIFA World Cup Fiesta in South Africa, there was much use of the Vuvuzela – a special type of trumpet. It produced sounds like that of many bees. So much and deafening was the noise that some of the competing nations wanted the vuvuzela banned! FIFA and the LOC took firm stand and the vuvuzela was retained. After the World Cup, I experienced a special type of vuvuzela, one Friday night, on my way to London via the National Express coach. It was the last coach after 23.00 hours. We were all forced to sleep briefly or should I say we had naps. At a stage, one man started to blow a special type of vuvuzela from his mouth and nostrils! Our sleep / naps were disturbed and as I woke up, I remarked: ‘This is vuvuzela extra’. Majority of the travelers had been forced to wake up; so most of us laughed at the remark. Could you believe that the man never woke up, but continued blowing with increased intensity, with variations of tunes and tones? We discussed the World Cup briefly and imagined that the man might have been dreaming about the World Cup! I paid dearly for my disturbed sleep in London during the day. Please handle with care, if your friend, family member  or even spouse blows vuvuzela extra. Try to endure while you help him or her. As for that man, we were unable to help him, until the driver stopped for comfort break. That is vuvuzela extra for you. Handle with care!